Avada Kadavra ed: The After Story
by Dr. Lemon Fish
Summary: Harry's just been "avada kadavra"ed. Dumbledore convinces him that it'd be much easier to sit on his behind and wait for everyone else to show up than to go back and fight.
1. Chapter 1: In Dumbledore's Cottage

Harry blinked.

Where was he?

"HI HARRY!!" Dumbledore screamed in his face.

"AAAAHHH! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Harry screamed, not realizing it was the former headmaster. "Oh wait… hi, Professor."

"Hello yourself, you nitwit, you!" Dumbledore replied.

"Uhhh, if you don't mind me asking, what's going on?"

"You're dead!" Dumbledore replied cheerfully. "Tea?"

Harry found that Dumbledore was shoving a teacup in his face. "Uh, no thank you. What do you mean I'm dead?"

"How else can I put this…" Dumbledore set down his cup and looked thoughtful. "Deceased? No longer living? Ya kicked the bucket? I'm afraid I don't know what you're asking… biscuit?"

"No, I do not want a biscuit!" Harry said, slightly angrier this time. "Whadaya mean I'm dead? How did I die?"

Dumbledore put down his tea. "Geez, Harry, for my star ex-pupil, you're not very bright. Let's think this out, shall we? You were fighting the dark lord. You saw a flash of green light and heard the words, 'AVADA KADAVRA!' How do you _think _you died? Honestly, teenagers these days…" he put a biscuit in his mouth and chuckled.

"But I have to fight Voldemort!" Harry replied, on the verge of tears. "Something awful might happen!"

"Honestly Harry, you're pretty slow to catch on. You're dead… it's not your problem any more. When all the good people die, they'll come here and we'll all be reuinited. The bad guys can _have _the earth. We don't need it anymore. We have _this _place!" He gestured around the cottage they were having tea in.

"Um, it's lovely, professor, but- but what about Ginny? And Ron? And Hermione? And everyone else? What happens to them?"

"Well, they die. Then they show up and we all live happily ever after."

"Wow. I admit, this is much easier than fighting Voldemort."

"Now you're talking!"

"Is that tea offer still open?"

"'Course!" Dumbledore replied cheerfully. "Oh, and this'll make you happy. I read in the post this morning in the obituary section that Ginny, Ron, and Hermione will die heroically in battle. So they'll probably drop in some time this afternoon."

"Wow. Thanks, professor!" Harry replied, chomping down a biscuit.

The future looked bright, and the tea and biscuits were good. Now that's what Harry called a happy ending.


	2. Chapter 2: The Train to Yonder

"Eat slugs, Voldy!" Ginny screamed.

"AVADA KADAVRA!!" Voldemort screamed back.

A green light blasted through the air and hit Ginny square in the leg. She fell to the ground. Voldemort shrugged.

"Not optimal aim, but still, effective," he said, turning to the idiot red haired boy charging towards him.

"NOOOO, BLAST YOU!" Ron screamed.

"Blast me? Blast you! AVADA KADAVRA!" Voldemort screamed again, hitting Ron in the face. His limp body fell to the ground.

"Bingo!" Voldemort said, blowing on the tip of his wand like it was a pistol.

For once, Hermione found herself at a lost for words. Harry was gone, Ginny was gone, and so was Ron. She crumpled to the ground, unable to speak.

"Avada kadavra," Voldemort said lazily, pointing his wand at the bushy haired girl who'd gone limp in the legs.

Chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga… Woot! Woot!

Ginny was on a train. It wasn't the Hogwarts Express, and it was zooming through the country side. Blip! Blip! Ron and Hermione also appeared in the car.

"Ron! Ginny! I thought I'd lost you!" Hermione cried, hugging them both.

"I thought I'd lost me, too," Ron said, rubbing his forehead in pain. "I must've hit my head right after you-know-who Avada-kedavra-ed me…"

They looked at each other. How had they survived the Avada Kadavra curse? Had Harry passed on some of his powers to them when he died? And where were they now? Had the curses actually been portkeys to send them to this train?

A loudspeaker went on.

"Attention, recently deceased: We will be arriving in Yonder in two hours. Just letting you know it's not three anymore. God, this job is boring. I've been driving ever since that darn anvil fell on my head. I should've been an artist… oh, is this still on? Oh, do you think anyone heard that? Oh no, maybe I should…"

The loudspeaker went silent. The three stared at each other in horror.

"R-r-r-recently deceased?" Ginny stuttered. "Y-y-you don't think…"

"Yes, Ginny," Hermione said solemnly, "I do think."

"We failed," Ron said sadly.

They sat in silence for a few minutes and then a woman with a trolley full of sweets pulled up to the door.

"Anything to eat, dears?" she asked.

"I'm afraid we haven't any money," Hermione said. "We died defending Hogwarts against He-who-must-not-be named, and it wouldn't really be practical to be carrying any money around…"

"I remember him," the witch said sadly. "He's still not gone, is he? Ah, well. He can never come here, that's for sure. And you three are so young… But no matter. It's not really dying so much as it is another stage of living." She looked down the hall to make sure no one was watching. "Tell you what. I'm not supposed to this, but seeing as you died nobly and so young, I'll give you a few chocolate frogs on the house."

She tossed the frogs to them and moved to another room.

Not really hungry, the three didn't bother to open their frogs. They had nothing to do but sit and wait to see where the train would take them.


	3. Chapter 3: Reunited

The loudspeaker came on.

"Alright, we are entering the Yonder Station. We hope you've had a good ride. God knows I haven't. I am soooo tired of this job. Gladys, do you think it's too late for me to become a writer? I've always wanted to write for the post. Darn it, the thing's still on again. Gladys, why can't you ever stop me when I…"

The loudspeaker was off.

Ginny, Ron, and Hermione looked out the window nervously as they pulled into a station. It looked like any other station; busy, bustling, full of witches and wizards trying to get where they need to go…

"Oh look! It's Harry!" Ginny said with excitement. "I can't believe it! It's really Harry! I think he's waiting for us!" She waved happily at him; he grinned and waved back.

"Wow, and Dumbledore's there too!" Hermione said, not quite so excited as Ginny; more frightened. These people were _dead, _they couldn't really be here, could they? You're never supposed to see dead people again.

"Blimey, this is weird," Ron said.

"Thanks, Captain Obvious," said a voice.

The three jumped in their seat.

"LUNA?!" Ginny gasped.

"Yes, I'm here too. I wonder if my mum is, as well. I'm sure she'll be waiting for me at the station. It seems that Harry and Dumbledore are waiting for you lot, too…" Luna replied.

"You're-you're-_dead,_" Ron stuttered.

"Yes, that's been established," Luna replied happily. "Bellatrix LeStrange got me. Ah, well. She's going to have to have an eternity of community service in Elsewhere when she finally kicks the bucket."

"Wait a minute? How do you know what happens after you die?" Ron asked suspiciously.

"Oh. My mum found a way to communicate with me from beyond the grave. She told me that the living wouldn't like it, and not to tell. I'm surprised that it's so uncommon. She says it's quite easy, really."

The loudspeaker again interrupted.

"Attention, passengers. You seriously need to get off the train. I'm not kidding. Yes, that means you. I have to cart the bad citizens off to Elsewhere."

Luna, Ron, Ginny, and Hermione stood up and starting walking down the long corridor off the train.

They got off and Harry ran up to Ginny.

"Harry!" she exclaimed, hugging him. "I thought I'd never see you again!"

"Yeah, well, I thought death was the end," he replied cheerily.

"MUM!" Luna exclaimed, running up to a blonde woman. "I've missed you! You look older than I remember…"

They walked away happily, while Ron, Harry, Hermione, and Dumbledore stood around awkwardly.

"Well, I don't think you've been fed properly," Dumbledore pointed out. "I know a place that makes good soups and sandwiches. We can talk about our new situation there."

And thus the four started on the way out of station, three unsure of their futures.


End file.
